What's that? (points at the Official Nintendo Seal of Quality on the game cartridge) It was actually licensed by Nintendo. But there's something very different about this one. The Nerd: So now we have yet another game based off of Noah's Ark. The Nerd: Remember in Bible Adventures, there were three games, and one of which was Noah's Ark, that stupid shit where you're pickin' up stacks of animals, then of course, there's the infamous Super Noah's Ark 3D, the only unlicensed Super NES game, which happens to be a clone of Wolfenstein, where you're goin' around shooting goats. Noah's Ark? (turning to the camera) Haven't we played this already? The Nerd: (groans) It's back over there?! Oh my Lord. (cuts across to the other side of the screen) Oh, so I guess it's the question marks I gotta get.
Obviously, I'm going all the way in the middle. "Kill all babies"! So for every question you answered correctly, you get, what else? A Bible, and then you get a violent picture of somebody being whipped, and then it's on to the next level. The Nerd: So, the exit appears, you take it, and then you get a bunch of Bible questions like: "The king of Egypt told the Hebrew midwives to: Kill male babies, Kill all babies-" Kill all.babies? I'm playing an NES game that says "Kill all babies"?! And you know what? That's the wrong answer, so that obviously means it's something they made up. (Exclaims) This is so redundant! It's really one of those games where you need a Turbo controller. I'm not even sure exactly what the items are, but it pretty much means that you have to uncover every square.
Basically, you have to collect a certain amount of items in order for an exit to appear. I guess on his journey to the Promised Land, he had to go through labyrinths, and shooting "W's" at everything and collecting sacks with the letter "M." I don't know about this one. Power on, please wait 7 seconds between power on and power off"? (the Nerd puts the game into the Toploader) Wow!Quite a lot of instructions just to start the damn game! (notes instructions on cartridge) What the Hell is this?!"To start the game, please wait up to 9 flashes on TV screen. The Nerd: First, let's check out Exodus: Journey to the Promised Land.
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